30 things that help #9: There are some things it’s better not to see

This post is part of Thirty Things That Help.

There are some things it’s better not to see

Today’s small piece of advice comes to you from Wendell Berry. In Hannah Coulter, Hannah is a young mother bringing up her small daughter. She is keen to get things right.

…I was strict with her. Mrs. Feltner, for one, thought I was too strict, and eventually I saw that she was right.

She said to me one day when I was correcting Little Margaret for something that didn’t much matter, “Honey, there are some things it’s just better not to see.”

There are some things it’s just better not to see.

This doesn’t mean you should let your child run wild with no thoughts for the consequences. It doesn’t mean you let them off every hook, every time. But our children are only human, they’re doing their best (even when their best is terrible), and like all of us they make mistakes. Most of the time you’ll help them learn from those mistakes. But sometimes, especially at the end of a long day, picking them up on some bad behaviour only makes things worse for everyone. And thoughtfully disciplining your child (or whatever word you want to use, but you know what I mean), takes energy. Maybe your child isn’t the only one who’s had enough for one day. When you choose not to see something, you’re also giving yourself a small break. Sometimes we all need a break!

Pick your battles. Your child can still grow up to be a decent human being if you let things slide from time to time. There are some things it’s better not to see.

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The image for this post comes from Ruslan Zaplatin via Unsplash.