I can attest that screen reliance can be reversed. When our kids were younger, our eyes weren’t yet fully open to the destructive effects of “screen time” and we allowed them iPads for long road trips. At some point, around the time we started homeschooling, my husband and I woke up to reality. We dumped the iPads and explained that they were old enough to handle a long trip and being bored on their own. I remember the first such road trip afterwards, hearing them in the backseat working to spot classic cars as we passed through the country side, exclaiming, “This is so much more fun!” Since then, it’s been easy…audiobooks, shared music, naps, backseat bickering…the way road trips should be ;)
I do worry about schools teaching that reading is a chore. My boy will happily read to himself for an hour in bed at night, but the teachers at his school insist that he has to read to us (his parents), so that we can chat to him about the books and pick him up on the odd word he doesn't know. He *hates* that, and I really don't want him to think of reading as drudgery.
I think it’s great to chat about books, but I also think your son wouldn’t read to himself for an hour if he wasn’t understanding most of what he read. What he doesn’t understand, he’ll figure out in his own time (largely by more reading). So long as he doesn’t suspect it’s work, he’ll also be glad to ask you for help when he needs it. I totally agree, do whatever it takes to keep reading something he enjoys not something he views as a chore. Including ignoring the school!
Thanks for the reply! And yes, we do chat about books - mostly the ones I read to him (the Mysterious Benedict Society at the moment). It's a tightrope with the school, but we'll work it out!
“I hesitate to blame the parents. If we’re going to step back from the brink of a post-literate society it’s going to take a society-wide effort. If people were kind about the toddler screaming on the bus, maybe the mother wouldn’t feel the need to sedate him with Cocomelon.”
Unfortunately, parents in situations like this are going to have to take responsibility for course correction. That might have to involve ignoring the unkind public responses they get. Easier said than done, of course. Yet both of these are true: our society as a whole doesn’t tolerate children; parents are to blame for giving in to peer pressure. Just because someone on the bus will be annoyed at a child acting normally doesn’t mean we punish the child. And that, in the long run, is what we’re doing by appeasing them with screens. Appeasement does not equal love.
I agree with all of this. Parents have to take responsibility. I think I was a bit nervous about attracting angry parents by making the point too strongly!
I understand that completely, Catherine. It can be hard for discussion about this to stay civil online.
However, the evidence of the effects of screens on children (and adults) is everywhere and solid enough that there’s no room even for excuses anymore. Kids do what their parents do. That is their model for living. The more we make excuses for screens, the longer we tolerate them, the easier it becomes to accept them (and God knows what else) as normal. Like you pointed out, it’s easier to not start a habit than to break it later.
This is too important to not think and talk strongly about.
It’s up to individual parents and it always has been. We can’t rely on or blame society for our own mistakes and then keep making them. I’m so done with seeing parents just do what makes themselves comfortable and hearing them defend it. I don’t mean you here, of course.
We should want our children to live in the world, with their neighbors. We should want them to read books in waiting rooms, like yours. We should want to talk to them and teach them and love them and treat them with dignity rather than try our hardest to just shut them up.
What an interesting read. As I am reading it, I am reminded of the two young men I met today at a fundraiser for our local rescue mission. They were seventh-graders at the classical Latin school in town. As we chewed, they told us about their fencing class. One of the boys said Latin was his favorite class, and they both enjoyed their humanities reading and writing class. I would suggest that some in the future will be post-literate, but the specialty schools and the homeschoolers will be turning out literate children. That will not help lots of students who have been babysat by screens at home and in school, but we will have literate people ... and we will have people trapped in the prison of ignorance.
Wow, sounds like a great school. Yes, I think the worry is that although some children will be fine and grow up to read as well and widely as people ever did, many will be left behind, and that will be a terrible thing for all of us. I don’t worry about my own children’s literacy, but the effect of lower levels of literacy overall will affect everyone.
Thanks for the mention Catherine! After reading the viral posts about Marriott's piece, I decided that it's time to pull everything that I've written about this in the past couple of years together and provide some practical starting points to confront "the dawn of the post-literate society". Will be sure to include your thoughts here as well :)
There are many thoughtful responses here —and Catherine you deserve the credit for the starting post. Yes, in today’s world, we too often see reactionary folks take such great insights as insults— but, I can assure you the challenges you’ve outlined could be mega-sized, and still be true. There is no blame here, only vital “let’s all look in the mirror” approach. Good on you, all hard-working parents everywhere to benefit. We must seriously consider that children/ young adults can be influenced to grow, learn and thrive like we really want them to…. But not without adults in their lives willing to challenge / limit use of pacifiers and model healthier behaviors for the long term.
I loved this essay! We bring a stack of books with us most places, and when I forget, I always regret it. Last weekend my husband was traveling, so after taking the older two boys to the cross country carpool, I took the younger three boys to a soccer game. The two not playing soccer were bored because the stack of books I had grabbed were reread many times. Hangry behaviors flared, and I let them play games on my phone. After soccer, we stopped by the library to get all the books on hold. What riches! All grumpiness vanished. We went out for burgers before tackling afternoon chores, and we ate in companionable silence to the sound of pages turning. Everyone had a book. The youngest had a stack. I had my latest Agatha Christie. It was the reset we all needed. I am not a technology purist, but I see what brings us joy, and the screens are a short-term and unsatisfying solution.
My girls also read a lot in public and like you, I've received positive comments about it. I've worked really hard to make them readers, especially my eldest. It was touch and go for a bit, whether the process of learning to read would stop her from loving reading. Cultivating a habit of reading in public was entirely selfish on my behalf though. It means I can go into appointments and not be worried about them causing disruption. It also meant that (until the baby arrived last year) I could have a relatively "peaceful" journey on the tube. Interestingly, it's on the London Underground where I get the most comments about them reading.
Which is interesting, as it’s one of the few places where I think public reading is still common.
(Anecdotally, far more so that on buses or long distance trains)
I have recently got myself a replacement Kindle, as I found that while the Kindle app is handy as always there while commuting - it is too easy to go from reading to checking email, or as more and more lines add underground mobile connection, social media.
Very glad to have kids who love to read here too! Maybe we've just gotten lucky, but this is true despite the fact that we use computers a fair bit. One thing that I think has helped is making videos and video games something that we engage with together on a large shared screen, and having a routine so they know when to expect those things. They've had laptops since they were 5 and 6 but those are for things like Beast Academy/Alcumus, Spike Prime, typing out novels they're writing, and defeating us in nightly races to complete the All Ten math puzzle. Nothing they do on their computers is so effortless that they want to do it for hours, and like the TV the laptops stay at home.
I’d add to also have parents do the same thing! If they see you reaching for your phone every few minutes and using tv as an escape/form of relaxation, they’re inevitably going to want to do the same. Modeling that reaching for a book or simply doing nothing is an option will show them that they can do the same!
I wish I hadn’t been such an overwhelmed/chronically ill parent, because it led to an over-reliance on screens, especially during the long northern winters, when my kids were toddlers. My oldest (12) is now really good about his screen time, often self-limiting it to below their allotted hours (we do no screens on Sunday, 2 hours on Saturdays if we’re not busy, and 1 hour on school days) and choosing to read instead. My youngest is unfortunately very screen addicted. He sneaks his tablet and our Nintendo switch constantly. He’s also a very late reader (at age 9 he’s barely reading at first grade level, though I don’t think this is a result of screens as his dad’s side of the family struggles with reading as well.) Thankfully he loves using an mp3 player to listen to audiobooks, so I know he loves and comprehends stories really well. We’re just currently trying to get better with screen limits and better with reading with him, because yeah…I’m determined my kids are not going to be a part of the post-literate society.
This is a lovely idea! Thinking back, I was always that (homeschooled) kid who brought a book someplace, but I hadn't thought to do it yet with our preschooler, who has a number of picture books memorized and regularly impresses us by "reading" them aloud.
I love this! It does just take a bit of preparation but we tend to have a book or magazine with us most days. On longer journeys or times I know he’ll be tired, it’s a book plus headphones for an audiobook.
Honestly, I’d much rather hear kids talking and laughing on the bus than the tinny noise of Cocomelon through phone speakers and a quiet kid.
What a good reminder. My girls are 7 and 5 and have been watching screens and in public school since the beginning (although I’m clearly interested in education and alternatives, and have been attentive to the quality and quantity of their screen use). They don’t reliably read or look at books everywhere we go, but one thing I’ve been able to do is associate reading with a specific place. Every time we go to our favorite restaurant at the corner of our street, we bring books and they don’t ask any questions about it. Out of habit they just pick them up and go for it while we’re waiting to order or get our food (which is not an insignificant period of time here in France). The subway/bus is also a pretty reliable option.
I can attest that screen reliance can be reversed. When our kids were younger, our eyes weren’t yet fully open to the destructive effects of “screen time” and we allowed them iPads for long road trips. At some point, around the time we started homeschooling, my husband and I woke up to reality. We dumped the iPads and explained that they were old enough to handle a long trip and being bored on their own. I remember the first such road trip afterwards, hearing them in the backseat working to spot classic cars as we passed through the country side, exclaiming, “This is so much more fun!” Since then, it’s been easy…audiobooks, shared music, naps, backseat bickering…the way road trips should be ;)
I do worry about schools teaching that reading is a chore. My boy will happily read to himself for an hour in bed at night, but the teachers at his school insist that he has to read to us (his parents), so that we can chat to him about the books and pick him up on the odd word he doesn't know. He *hates* that, and I really don't want him to think of reading as drudgery.
I think it’s great to chat about books, but I also think your son wouldn’t read to himself for an hour if he wasn’t understanding most of what he read. What he doesn’t understand, he’ll figure out in his own time (largely by more reading). So long as he doesn’t suspect it’s work, he’ll also be glad to ask you for help when he needs it. I totally agree, do whatever it takes to keep reading something he enjoys not something he views as a chore. Including ignoring the school!
Thanks for the reply! And yes, we do chat about books - mostly the ones I read to him (the Mysterious Benedict Society at the moment). It's a tightrope with the school, but we'll work it out!
Thank you for your thoughtful piece.
“I hesitate to blame the parents. If we’re going to step back from the brink of a post-literate society it’s going to take a society-wide effort. If people were kind about the toddler screaming on the bus, maybe the mother wouldn’t feel the need to sedate him with Cocomelon.”
Unfortunately, parents in situations like this are going to have to take responsibility for course correction. That might have to involve ignoring the unkind public responses they get. Easier said than done, of course. Yet both of these are true: our society as a whole doesn’t tolerate children; parents are to blame for giving in to peer pressure. Just because someone on the bus will be annoyed at a child acting normally doesn’t mean we punish the child. And that, in the long run, is what we’re doing by appeasing them with screens. Appeasement does not equal love.
I agree with all of this. Parents have to take responsibility. I think I was a bit nervous about attracting angry parents by making the point too strongly!
I understand that completely, Catherine. It can be hard for discussion about this to stay civil online.
However, the evidence of the effects of screens on children (and adults) is everywhere and solid enough that there’s no room even for excuses anymore. Kids do what their parents do. That is their model for living. The more we make excuses for screens, the longer we tolerate them, the easier it becomes to accept them (and God knows what else) as normal. Like you pointed out, it’s easier to not start a habit than to break it later.
This is too important to not think and talk strongly about.
It’s up to individual parents and it always has been. We can’t rely on or blame society for our own mistakes and then keep making them. I’m so done with seeing parents just do what makes themselves comfortable and hearing them defend it. I don’t mean you here, of course.
We should want our children to live in the world, with their neighbors. We should want them to read books in waiting rooms, like yours. We should want to talk to them and teach them and love them and treat them with dignity rather than try our hardest to just shut them up.
What an interesting read. As I am reading it, I am reminded of the two young men I met today at a fundraiser for our local rescue mission. They were seventh-graders at the classical Latin school in town. As we chewed, they told us about their fencing class. One of the boys said Latin was his favorite class, and they both enjoyed their humanities reading and writing class. I would suggest that some in the future will be post-literate, but the specialty schools and the homeschoolers will be turning out literate children. That will not help lots of students who have been babysat by screens at home and in school, but we will have literate people ... and we will have people trapped in the prison of ignorance.
Wow, sounds like a great school. Yes, I think the worry is that although some children will be fine and grow up to read as well and widely as people ever did, many will be left behind, and that will be a terrible thing for all of us. I don’t worry about my own children’s literacy, but the effect of lower levels of literacy overall will affect everyone.
Thanks for the mention Catherine! After reading the viral posts about Marriott's piece, I decided that it's time to pull everything that I've written about this in the past couple of years together and provide some practical starting points to confront "the dawn of the post-literate society". Will be sure to include your thoughts here as well :)
There are many thoughtful responses here —and Catherine you deserve the credit for the starting post. Yes, in today’s world, we too often see reactionary folks take such great insights as insults— but, I can assure you the challenges you’ve outlined could be mega-sized, and still be true. There is no blame here, only vital “let’s all look in the mirror” approach. Good on you, all hard-working parents everywhere to benefit. We must seriously consider that children/ young adults can be influenced to grow, learn and thrive like we really want them to…. But not without adults in their lives willing to challenge / limit use of pacifiers and model healthier behaviors for the long term.
I loved this essay! We bring a stack of books with us most places, and when I forget, I always regret it. Last weekend my husband was traveling, so after taking the older two boys to the cross country carpool, I took the younger three boys to a soccer game. The two not playing soccer were bored because the stack of books I had grabbed were reread many times. Hangry behaviors flared, and I let them play games on my phone. After soccer, we stopped by the library to get all the books on hold. What riches! All grumpiness vanished. We went out for burgers before tackling afternoon chores, and we ate in companionable silence to the sound of pages turning. Everyone had a book. The youngest had a stack. I had my latest Agatha Christie. It was the reset we all needed. I am not a technology purist, but I see what brings us joy, and the screens are a short-term and unsatisfying solution.
My girls also read a lot in public and like you, I've received positive comments about it. I've worked really hard to make them readers, especially my eldest. It was touch and go for a bit, whether the process of learning to read would stop her from loving reading. Cultivating a habit of reading in public was entirely selfish on my behalf though. It means I can go into appointments and not be worried about them causing disruption. It also meant that (until the baby arrived last year) I could have a relatively "peaceful" journey on the tube. Interestingly, it's on the London Underground where I get the most comments about them reading.
Which is interesting, as it’s one of the few places where I think public reading is still common.
(Anecdotally, far more so that on buses or long distance trains)
I have recently got myself a replacement Kindle, as I found that while the Kindle app is handy as always there while commuting - it is too easy to go from reading to checking email, or as more and more lines add underground mobile connection, social media.
Very glad to have kids who love to read here too! Maybe we've just gotten lucky, but this is true despite the fact that we use computers a fair bit. One thing that I think has helped is making videos and video games something that we engage with together on a large shared screen, and having a routine so they know when to expect those things. They've had laptops since they were 5 and 6 but those are for things like Beast Academy/Alcumus, Spike Prime, typing out novels they're writing, and defeating us in nightly races to complete the All Ten math puzzle. Nothing they do on their computers is so effortless that they want to do it for hours, and like the TV the laptops stay at home.
I like your two points!
I’d add to also have parents do the same thing! If they see you reaching for your phone every few minutes and using tv as an escape/form of relaxation, they’re inevitably going to want to do the same. Modeling that reaching for a book or simply doing nothing is an option will show them that they can do the same!
I wish I hadn’t been such an overwhelmed/chronically ill parent, because it led to an over-reliance on screens, especially during the long northern winters, when my kids were toddlers. My oldest (12) is now really good about his screen time, often self-limiting it to below their allotted hours (we do no screens on Sunday, 2 hours on Saturdays if we’re not busy, and 1 hour on school days) and choosing to read instead. My youngest is unfortunately very screen addicted. He sneaks his tablet and our Nintendo switch constantly. He’s also a very late reader (at age 9 he’s barely reading at first grade level, though I don’t think this is a result of screens as his dad’s side of the family struggles with reading as well.) Thankfully he loves using an mp3 player to listen to audiobooks, so I know he loves and comprehends stories really well. We’re just currently trying to get better with screen limits and better with reading with him, because yeah…I’m determined my kids are not going to be a part of the post-literate society.
I will share this far and wide!
Thank you Kimberly, it’s sad to think that it needs sharing at all but that’s obviously where we are!
This is a lovely idea! Thinking back, I was always that (homeschooled) kid who brought a book someplace, but I hadn't thought to do it yet with our preschooler, who has a number of picture books memorized and regularly impresses us by "reading" them aloud.
Sounds like your preschooler is already on the right track!
I love this! It does just take a bit of preparation but we tend to have a book or magazine with us most days. On longer journeys or times I know he’ll be tired, it’s a book plus headphones for an audiobook.
Honestly, I’d much rather hear kids talking and laughing on the bus than the tinny noise of Cocomelon through phone speakers and a quiet kid.
Totally agree! I also resent that when one parent gives their child a screen on the bus all other children start craning towards it.
What a good reminder. My girls are 7 and 5 and have been watching screens and in public school since the beginning (although I’m clearly interested in education and alternatives, and have been attentive to the quality and quantity of their screen use). They don’t reliably read or look at books everywhere we go, but one thing I’ve been able to do is associate reading with a specific place. Every time we go to our favorite restaurant at the corner of our street, we bring books and they don’t ask any questions about it. Out of habit they just pick them up and go for it while we’re waiting to order or get our food (which is not an insignificant period of time here in France). The subway/bus is also a pretty reliable option.
That’s great, I think making it a habit is the great thing. Then there’s no discussion about it—it’s just what you do.