I desperately needed to hear your comments on mess today. I have some kind of 1950s Housewife of Shame in my head telling me if my house isn’t spotless I’m failing as a housekeeper, but in a small house with a toddler it’s just not very feasible!
I also struggle to get us outside enough. We are fortunate to have good weather through autumn and winter here in Texas (although summer is another story), but our street is very busy and our backyard occupied by a friend, who lives there in a tiny house. My solution is memberships to the nearby zoo and botanic gardens, though we should go there and to the park more often.
You may well be failing as a housekeeper - I know I am - but remember you are actually not a housekeeper. Some families actually employ someone to spend all day with their child, and some of those families employ people to clean or even cook as well! We’re doing so many jobs and we can’t do them all full-time all of the time. Your toddler would much rather have lovely memories of time with their mother than lovely memories of the spotless home they lived in!
Memberships are a great idea. We joined Kew Gardens this year and I love it.
“We’re doing so many jobs and we can’t do them all full-time all of the time.” Wise words; I may post this on my fridge! Thank you for the encouragement :)
This podcast episode was a total lightbulb moment for me because it puts words to the fact that households have rhythms and cycles. The moments of feeling like you want to burn it all because it’s suddenly gotten totally out of control happen when too many cycles collide at once. So thinking through what your cycles are and where they collide can minimize some of those moments.
Re. outside. Man, it’s hard! We have a large backyard, but I find that I struggle to get myself enough time outdoors because I rely on the outside playtime to catch up on tasks without interruption.
I love the Lazy Genius. I think rereading her books would give me some inspiration. It’s partly laziness - in the 1.5 hours between my daughter going to bed and me going to bed I’d rather relax than do housework! Today we did a better job of tidying up on a routine, like you mention in your note. I fear my housekeeping is more flatline than cycles. I need a defibrillator to get me jump started!
I am constantly caught in between my post bedtime desire to do nothing and my desire to not be paralyzed by my chaos. So real. We are also working really hard to make it a team effort and my 4,7 and 9 year old are starting to make a sizable contribution to BOTH the mess making and the cleaning up.
YES! My problem is I either seem to do housework in the evening or do nothing. I’m not very good at striking a balance. Obviously housework never ends so if I choose that I go to bed exhausted (although I wake up to a nice house), but if I choose to watch something I find it very hard to switch it off after 20 minutes and don’t even do the washing up (but do feel a bit more rested). Must be more disciplined!
Our son is a young toddler, so we've been utilizing open play gyms during these cold, dark, rainy nights (darkness starts at 4pm where we live)! Also, our son likes running around the home goods section of our local store. I've learned to not be hard on myself about not having a perfectly clean house. I do my best and make sure it's not a total pig sty now and then. Lol. What are you reading by Charlotte Mason??
I think aiming for ‘not a total pigsty’ is wise - anything more than that risks totally defeating me!
I’m currently reading Volume 6 A Philosophy of Education, and also Modern Miss Mason by Leah Boden. I’ve read and reread Home Education. Have you read any CM and if so what would you recommend? I’m slightly struggling to see how her philosophy applies to the sciences - so much of what she talks about is humanities based, and as a family we’re very strong on the humanities, but she barely seems to mentions math at all. Or maybe I just haven’t read the right bits yet!
Thank you for these posts! I have been reading through the archives and have picked up so many tips. We are now happily enjoying Prime Climb and Greeking Out. We live in a city that’s dark, cold and rainy in the winter (in Oregon, US) - we tend to get stuck inside and grumpy for months on end without an intentional effort to go out. Unless it’s heavily raining, we’ve been sort of manufacturing an errand each day that’s a bit farther away than we’d really like to walk, and walking there anyway. Like, let’s walk over to the grocery store and buy potatoes! Or down to the bakery to see if they have any croissants! We don’t always buy anything, but at least it gets us outside for a couple of hours most days and my daughter is usually not too hard to convince.
Ah I’m so pleased! How old is your daughter? I haven’t bought Prime Climb yet and think my two are probably ready for it but would love guidance! I remember the manufactured errand outing when they were smaller. Nowadays they’d throw a fit if I told them we were going on a long walk for potatoes 😂. Croissants might do it though…!
Yes, it seems like croissants could be universal motivator! We recently visited France, where we ate “a croissant a day”. Which worked because they cost about one euro each. Here in Oregon, the bakery sells them for $5 each, and frankly, they are nothing like as delicious as a French one. So, my wallet will demand that croissants are an infrequent excuse. I’m always trying to come up with some new flimsy excuse for our walks. 😂
My daughter is 9, and just finished memorizing her times table using Times Tales, which she loved (great if you have a visual/story-based learner who is stuck on the upper times tables). Prime Climb is just about right for her at this stage. She likes it and asks to play every day. So, thanks for the intro to Math for Love! It seems like a great company.
Outdoor time: get stunt scooters. And decent protective gear not from a toy shop
Housekeeping: well my my mother is coming to visit for a few days, I find that a effective motivator. Not that she's judgy about it but she does need somewhere to sleep that isn't covered by work and home ed tackle!
I haven't read any since my son is a young toddler but I'm starting to look into her since she's so well recommended. I'm learning about different philosophies and I like hers! Thanks for the suggestions. Hmm, maybe you'll have to weave another curriculum in with CM!
I desperately needed to hear your comments on mess today. I have some kind of 1950s Housewife of Shame in my head telling me if my house isn’t spotless I’m failing as a housekeeper, but in a small house with a toddler it’s just not very feasible!
I also struggle to get us outside enough. We are fortunate to have good weather through autumn and winter here in Texas (although summer is another story), but our street is very busy and our backyard occupied by a friend, who lives there in a tiny house. My solution is memberships to the nearby zoo and botanic gardens, though we should go there and to the park more often.
You may well be failing as a housekeeper - I know I am - but remember you are actually not a housekeeper. Some families actually employ someone to spend all day with their child, and some of those families employ people to clean or even cook as well! We’re doing so many jobs and we can’t do them all full-time all of the time. Your toddler would much rather have lovely memories of time with their mother than lovely memories of the spotless home they lived in!
Memberships are a great idea. We joined Kew Gardens this year and I love it.
“We’re doing so many jobs and we can’t do them all full-time all of the time.” Wise words; I may post this on my fridge! Thank you for the encouragement :)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-lazy-genius-podcast/id1111796513?i=1000629886002
This podcast episode was a total lightbulb moment for me because it puts words to the fact that households have rhythms and cycles. The moments of feeling like you want to burn it all because it’s suddenly gotten totally out of control happen when too many cycles collide at once. So thinking through what your cycles are and where they collide can minimize some of those moments.
Re. outside. Man, it’s hard! We have a large backyard, but I find that I struggle to get myself enough time outdoors because I rely on the outside playtime to catch up on tasks without interruption.
I love the Lazy Genius. I think rereading her books would give me some inspiration. It’s partly laziness - in the 1.5 hours between my daughter going to bed and me going to bed I’d rather relax than do housework! Today we did a better job of tidying up on a routine, like you mention in your note. I fear my housekeeping is more flatline than cycles. I need a defibrillator to get me jump started!
I am constantly caught in between my post bedtime desire to do nothing and my desire to not be paralyzed by my chaos. So real. We are also working really hard to make it a team effort and my 4,7 and 9 year old are starting to make a sizable contribution to BOTH the mess making and the cleaning up.
YES! My problem is I either seem to do housework in the evening or do nothing. I’m not very good at striking a balance. Obviously housework never ends so if I choose that I go to bed exhausted (although I wake up to a nice house), but if I choose to watch something I find it very hard to switch it off after 20 minutes and don’t even do the washing up (but do feel a bit more rested). Must be more disciplined!
Our son is a young toddler, so we've been utilizing open play gyms during these cold, dark, rainy nights (darkness starts at 4pm where we live)! Also, our son likes running around the home goods section of our local store. I've learned to not be hard on myself about not having a perfectly clean house. I do my best and make sure it's not a total pig sty now and then. Lol. What are you reading by Charlotte Mason??
I think aiming for ‘not a total pigsty’ is wise - anything more than that risks totally defeating me!
I’m currently reading Volume 6 A Philosophy of Education, and also Modern Miss Mason by Leah Boden. I’ve read and reread Home Education. Have you read any CM and if so what would you recommend? I’m slightly struggling to see how her philosophy applies to the sciences - so much of what she talks about is humanities based, and as a family we’re very strong on the humanities, but she barely seems to mentions math at all. Or maybe I just haven’t read the right bits yet!
Thank you for these posts! I have been reading through the archives and have picked up so many tips. We are now happily enjoying Prime Climb and Greeking Out. We live in a city that’s dark, cold and rainy in the winter (in Oregon, US) - we tend to get stuck inside and grumpy for months on end without an intentional effort to go out. Unless it’s heavily raining, we’ve been sort of manufacturing an errand each day that’s a bit farther away than we’d really like to walk, and walking there anyway. Like, let’s walk over to the grocery store and buy potatoes! Or down to the bakery to see if they have any croissants! We don’t always buy anything, but at least it gets us outside for a couple of hours most days and my daughter is usually not too hard to convince.
Ah I’m so pleased! How old is your daughter? I haven’t bought Prime Climb yet and think my two are probably ready for it but would love guidance! I remember the manufactured errand outing when they were smaller. Nowadays they’d throw a fit if I told them we were going on a long walk for potatoes 😂. Croissants might do it though…!
Yes, it seems like croissants could be universal motivator! We recently visited France, where we ate “a croissant a day”. Which worked because they cost about one euro each. Here in Oregon, the bakery sells them for $5 each, and frankly, they are nothing like as delicious as a French one. So, my wallet will demand that croissants are an infrequent excuse. I’m always trying to come up with some new flimsy excuse for our walks. 😂
My daughter is 9, and just finished memorizing her times table using Times Tales, which she loved (great if you have a visual/story-based learner who is stuck on the upper times tables). Prime Climb is just about right for her at this stage. She likes it and asks to play every day. So, thanks for the intro to Math for Love! It seems like a great company.
Outdoor time: get stunt scooters. And decent protective gear not from a toy shop
Housekeeping: well my my mother is coming to visit for a few days, I find that a effective motivator. Not that she's judgy about it but she does need somewhere to sleep that isn't covered by work and home ed tackle!
"There'e more than one type of wonderful" Here here! :)
I haven't read any since my son is a young toddler but I'm starting to look into her since she's so well recommended. I'm learning about different philosophies and I like hers! Thanks for the suggestions. Hmm, maybe you'll have to weave another curriculum in with CM!