I loved this post! I would say that, up until a certain age, it is possible to put the genie back in the bottle. We've managed! Our older two kids are 9 and 10 -- we got them iPads during the pandemic and wound up taking them away about six months ago, after three years of constant, exhausting negotiations about screen time, as well as creeping boundaries about what kind of and how many apps we allowed on their iPads. There was grumbling, but they took it surprisingly well! (It helped that I sold their iPads on Facebook marketplace and gave them the money, which they used to buy books!). They still have a Nintendo Switch that they play for an hour or two on weekends only, but otherwise they're screen-free now and are happier and healthier and more creative for it. Just wanted to offer some optimism for parents like my husband and I who took a leap into devices for the kids and then realized they made a mistake!
I completely agree with this post, but am very conscious that I read it at the station on my phone, surrounded by other people also on their phones. Going to get my book out now 😂
We are the same, screens are something that I struggle with and we've managed to avoid getting in the habit of letting our children have much screen time. The nursery we sen(t/d) them to however did rely on screens at times when they were busy which was something we found very annoying!
To your husband's point, he is right but I would posit that screen time when our generation was young was very different to screen time now. There was either no youtube/Facebook/Instagram/tiktok etc., or if there were they were still at the stage where they showed you a chronological timeline of posts that it was possible to get to the bottom of. The apps/sites on my phone now are designed to keep your attention for as long as possible and I think that is a big change that we will have to grapple with as a society.
Thank you for writing this, Catherine! We have very strict (compared to almost all of our friend group) limits on screens. My sons are 4, 6, and 7. I think you're right on-- it is ridiculous to offer an immersive screen experience alongside a book and expect our young children to choose the second option when we adults know full well how enticing screens are. I am hoping that our continued efforts will be a blessing to our children who are able to imagine, sustain focus, engage outdoors, and have a taste for wholesome and life-giving leisure in ways they wouldn't if they were regularly succumbing to screens.
Thanks for this thoughtful post Catherine - will add it to my list of "to share posts" this week:) Off to finish writing Christmas cards and baking cookies...
Bravo! Keeping the genie in the bottle is so worth it. My boys are now 11 and 14, and family life seems so much easier than other families we know who fell into TV/iPads/smartphones. My kids have no devices of their own and occasionally use the family iPad for emailing or writing up their own stories. Books and board games and imaginary play are the default forms of entertainment. It gets easier to hold out, we find now, bc our children see how sadly addicted other kids are -- it doesn’t look appealing! My brother (age 48) is an exec at Microsoft, and like Gates he used computers as a teen. But computer games in the 80s/90s weren’t all that compelling. On his computer my brother was creating, and tinkering -- not consuming. It’s very different today.
We are very much in the same boat - with the genie still firmly in the box - but at 6 and 7 my husband is beginning to question whether we are doing them a disservice. For me, the positive side of avid readers and never having to have an argument about screen time outweighs the fact that they might be slightly less computer savvy than their peers (although on the flip side, is there evidence to show late adopters are less skilled?). Who knows. Maybe I too am a luddite and maybe my husband, whose job is a systems developer, is right 😂
Totally agree, screens in childhood push aside the opportunity to learn and develop other skills and interests. As an adult I've struggled not to let my own screen time interfere with activities I enjoy (and for the most part I don't even enjoy being online, substack excepted), and I often wonder what it would be like if I'd never developed those non screen interests in the first place.
I loved this post! I would say that, up until a certain age, it is possible to put the genie back in the bottle. We've managed! Our older two kids are 9 and 10 -- we got them iPads during the pandemic and wound up taking them away about six months ago, after three years of constant, exhausting negotiations about screen time, as well as creeping boundaries about what kind of and how many apps we allowed on their iPads. There was grumbling, but they took it surprisingly well! (It helped that I sold their iPads on Facebook marketplace and gave them the money, which they used to buy books!). They still have a Nintendo Switch that they play for an hour or two on weekends only, but otherwise they're screen-free now and are happier and healthier and more creative for it. Just wanted to offer some optimism for parents like my husband and I who took a leap into devices for the kids and then realized they made a mistake!
I completely agree with this post, but am very conscious that I read it at the station on my phone, surrounded by other people also on their phones. Going to get my book out now 😂
We are the same, screens are something that I struggle with and we've managed to avoid getting in the habit of letting our children have much screen time. The nursery we sen(t/d) them to however did rely on screens at times when they were busy which was something we found very annoying!
To your husband's point, he is right but I would posit that screen time when our generation was young was very different to screen time now. There was either no youtube/Facebook/Instagram/tiktok etc., or if there were they were still at the stage where they showed you a chronological timeline of posts that it was possible to get to the bottom of. The apps/sites on my phone now are designed to keep your attention for as long as possible and I think that is a big change that we will have to grapple with as a society.
Thank you for writing this, Catherine! We have very strict (compared to almost all of our friend group) limits on screens. My sons are 4, 6, and 7. I think you're right on-- it is ridiculous to offer an immersive screen experience alongside a book and expect our young children to choose the second option when we adults know full well how enticing screens are. I am hoping that our continued efforts will be a blessing to our children who are able to imagine, sustain focus, engage outdoors, and have a taste for wholesome and life-giving leisure in ways they wouldn't if they were regularly succumbing to screens.
Thanks for this thoughtful post Catherine - will add it to my list of "to share posts" this week:) Off to finish writing Christmas cards and baking cookies...
Bravo! Keeping the genie in the bottle is so worth it. My boys are now 11 and 14, and family life seems so much easier than other families we know who fell into TV/iPads/smartphones. My kids have no devices of their own and occasionally use the family iPad for emailing or writing up their own stories. Books and board games and imaginary play are the default forms of entertainment. It gets easier to hold out, we find now, bc our children see how sadly addicted other kids are -- it doesn’t look appealing! My brother (age 48) is an exec at Microsoft, and like Gates he used computers as a teen. But computer games in the 80s/90s weren’t all that compelling. On his computer my brother was creating, and tinkering -- not consuming. It’s very different today.
Indeed, indeed, indeed.
We are very much in the same boat - with the genie still firmly in the box - but at 6 and 7 my husband is beginning to question whether we are doing them a disservice. For me, the positive side of avid readers and never having to have an argument about screen time outweighs the fact that they might be slightly less computer savvy than their peers (although on the flip side, is there evidence to show late adopters are less skilled?). Who knows. Maybe I too am a luddite and maybe my husband, whose job is a systems developer, is right 😂
Totally agree, screens in childhood push aside the opportunity to learn and develop other skills and interests. As an adult I've struggled not to let my own screen time interfere with activities I enjoy (and for the most part I don't even enjoy being online, substack excepted), and I often wonder what it would be like if I'd never developed those non screen interests in the first place.