For the soon to be mama -- I wish I’d waited to buy things until I actually needed them (one day delivery is a big help here). I thought I’d need everything for every possible situation and for every possible iteration of my kid. My newborn actually didn’t need shoes, my 3 month old didn’t need a swim suit, and my one year old outgrew the snowsuit before she ever saw snow.
Also, shower every day. That may be my bigger piece of advice. Even if your baby cries for five minutes while you quickly shave your armpits, a shower every day gives you an opportunity to prioritize yourself in one small way, so you can still feel human in those early days.
Those are both excellent points. Those lists of ‘what to buy before your baby arrives’ are responsible for so much waste! I’m deeply impressed at you managing to shave your armpits - even now my youngest ‘baby’ is six I’m still struggling on that one!
Nov 24, 2023·edited Nov 24, 2023Liked by Catherine Oliver
*Advice*
For labour: Buy adult nappies. My waters broke before I got to the hospital so I would have ruined the car if not for them! Great for after as well, as they stay in place better and are more comfortable than the giant pads and mesh underwear the hospital will provide.
For after labour: I knew it would be hard, but it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I think I underestimated how quickly I would recover from childbirth. And recovering from major physical trauma whilst getting very little and poor quality sleep is that much harder! I don't mention this to scare you but to set exceptions. The reality is that for the first 6 weeks you will be in pure survival mode. Research shows that most pregnant women have unrealistic expectations about what life will be like after having a baby, and that having realistic expectations about what life is like postpartum is better for your mental health! https://theconversation.com/helping-new-moms-return-to-exercise-and-leisure-supports-their-physical-and-mental-health-182024
If breastfeeding: It hurts at first. That's totally normal. Sometimes it's because the latch is wrong but even if it's right it'll still hurt! There are various theories as to why but I think it's because it takes a while for your milk to come in, and that means the infant is providing a lot of consistent suction for long periods, which causes pain. Once your milk comes in, it just takes a lot less suction to trigger let-down, and then your nipples have an opportunity to heal. So my advice is that if breastfeeding is important to you, just know you might have to power through those first couple of weeks and it might be rough at first.
Also, however your baby is fed, take advantage of the drop-in sessions for weighing with the health visitors. It's very reassuring to see growth happening and know your baby is being fed enough.
To the new mom; congratulations! Having a new baby is so wonderful.
I second the advice about showering daily (or as often as you can/want). My midwife told me “a shower isn’t self care,” which I still sometimes tell myself now that my son is almost 18mo. It’s as necessary as brushing your teeth! It’s okay to leave the baby and just do it!
On that topic, ask for help. Whether that’s getting your husband to bring you water or hiring a lactation consultant or whatever that looks like for you, ask for help.
As for products, I found I needed less than I thought I would, but my Baby Bjorn bouncer was worth every penny. Once my son hit ~4mo he wanted to be moving and observing, and he didn’t like to be worn anymore. You may not need a bouncer, but don’t be afraid to get something a little expensive if you know it’s going to make your life easier; you’ll know what you need as you get to know your baby.
Congratulations to the new mom! My first baby is almost 7 months old, and she is the greatest joy. Motherhood is even better than I ever could have imagined. Some of my tips and tricks from my short time in the mom club:
Baby wear! Truly, idk how anyone gets anything done without baby wearing. I love the Solly wraps. They have a Black Friday sale going right now... but any wrap or carrier that you and baby feel comfortable with is great.
Skin to skin! You literally can’t do to much. Try to make as much time and space as possible to do skin to skin with baby. There’s nothing sweeter than a snuggle newborn asleep on your chest. Skin to skin is also phenomenal for supporting breastfeeding success if you want to breastfeed.
See a lactation consultant! If you want to breastfeed then definitely seek out any and all support you need. My midwife told me, about seeing a CLC, “go and keep going until breastfeeding is easy.” Breastfeeding is one of the most rewarding and amazing and awe inspiring things I’ve ever done. But it isn’t without a learning curve. Make sure you have support and encouragement!
You can’t spoil a baby! All your baby knows is you. You are their absolute safe place. They don’t know how to manipulate you. Their needs are relatively simple and they can all be met by you. Snuggle them, feed them, keep them warm and dry. And ease back into normal life. You won’t regret the days of taking it slow and just snuggling your baby all day while watching movies.
You can do this! Just lean into the love and the joy. There is so much love and joy.
For the soon to be mama -- I wish I’d waited to buy things until I actually needed them (one day delivery is a big help here). I thought I’d need everything for every possible situation and for every possible iteration of my kid. My newborn actually didn’t need shoes, my 3 month old didn’t need a swim suit, and my one year old outgrew the snowsuit before she ever saw snow.
Also, shower every day. That may be my bigger piece of advice. Even if your baby cries for five minutes while you quickly shave your armpits, a shower every day gives you an opportunity to prioritize yourself in one small way, so you can still feel human in those early days.
Those are both excellent points. Those lists of ‘what to buy before your baby arrives’ are responsible for so much waste! I’m deeply impressed at you managing to shave your armpits - even now my youngest ‘baby’ is six I’m still struggling on that one!
*Advice*
For labour: Buy adult nappies. My waters broke before I got to the hospital so I would have ruined the car if not for them! Great for after as well, as they stay in place better and are more comfortable than the giant pads and mesh underwear the hospital will provide.
For after labour: I knew it would be hard, but it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I think I underestimated how quickly I would recover from childbirth. And recovering from major physical trauma whilst getting very little and poor quality sleep is that much harder! I don't mention this to scare you but to set exceptions. The reality is that for the first 6 weeks you will be in pure survival mode. Research shows that most pregnant women have unrealistic expectations about what life will be like after having a baby, and that having realistic expectations about what life is like postpartum is better for your mental health! https://theconversation.com/helping-new-moms-return-to-exercise-and-leisure-supports-their-physical-and-mental-health-182024
If breastfeeding: It hurts at first. That's totally normal. Sometimes it's because the latch is wrong but even if it's right it'll still hurt! There are various theories as to why but I think it's because it takes a while for your milk to come in, and that means the infant is providing a lot of consistent suction for long periods, which causes pain. Once your milk comes in, it just takes a lot less suction to trigger let-down, and then your nipples have an opportunity to heal. So my advice is that if breastfeeding is important to you, just know you might have to power through those first couple of weeks and it might be rough at first.
Also, however your baby is fed, take advantage of the drop-in sessions for weighing with the health visitors. It's very reassuring to see growth happening and know your baby is being fed enough.
To the new mom; congratulations! Having a new baby is so wonderful.
I second the advice about showering daily (or as often as you can/want). My midwife told me “a shower isn’t self care,” which I still sometimes tell myself now that my son is almost 18mo. It’s as necessary as brushing your teeth! It’s okay to leave the baby and just do it!
On that topic, ask for help. Whether that’s getting your husband to bring you water or hiring a lactation consultant or whatever that looks like for you, ask for help.
As for products, I found I needed less than I thought I would, but my Baby Bjorn bouncer was worth every penny. Once my son hit ~4mo he wanted to be moving and observing, and he didn’t like to be worn anymore. You may not need a bouncer, but don’t be afraid to get something a little expensive if you know it’s going to make your life easier; you’ll know what you need as you get to know your baby.
Congratulations to the new mom! My first baby is almost 7 months old, and she is the greatest joy. Motherhood is even better than I ever could have imagined. Some of my tips and tricks from my short time in the mom club:
Baby wear! Truly, idk how anyone gets anything done without baby wearing. I love the Solly wraps. They have a Black Friday sale going right now... but any wrap or carrier that you and baby feel comfortable with is great.
Skin to skin! You literally can’t do to much. Try to make as much time and space as possible to do skin to skin with baby. There’s nothing sweeter than a snuggle newborn asleep on your chest. Skin to skin is also phenomenal for supporting breastfeeding success if you want to breastfeed.
See a lactation consultant! If you want to breastfeed then definitely seek out any and all support you need. My midwife told me, about seeing a CLC, “go and keep going until breastfeeding is easy.” Breastfeeding is one of the most rewarding and amazing and awe inspiring things I’ve ever done. But it isn’t without a learning curve. Make sure you have support and encouragement!
You can’t spoil a baby! All your baby knows is you. You are their absolute safe place. They don’t know how to manipulate you. Their needs are relatively simple and they can all be met by you. Snuggle them, feed them, keep them warm and dry. And ease back into normal life. You won’t regret the days of taking it slow and just snuggling your baby all day while watching movies.
You can do this! Just lean into the love and the joy. There is so much love and joy.
YES - "sometimes it’s not easy to remember all the obvious little things that make life run a little more smoothly." Well said.